Hornsmasher: Clarinet

Ever wonder what would happen if you pumped peanut butter into a clarinet with a pressure hose?  The guys at Hornsmasher.com did, and here is the result:

YouTube Clarinet Commercials (Dec 2010 column)

Television plays a major part in the American lifestyle, and before the era of TiVo, audiences had to sit through countless commercials. Now, many of those commercials are posted on YouTube for people to watch voluntarily! We were curious to find out how many of those commercials feature the clarinet. After an exhaustive search, we compiled a list of commercials--some of which you may remember seeing. Ranging from large corporation productions to local advertisements, our list includes new and out-dated commercials, with some that are sure to make you laugh. Our top four favorites begin with a Doritos commercial, mis-appropriately titled “Clarinet Virtuoso.” I guess that goes with the saying that eating and playing don’t mix.



Next on the list is one of the most recognizable videos produced by MasterCard. Their catchy slogan of comparing the costs of objects to what is priceless could not be better portrayed than with a beginner’s first attempt at the clarinet. MasterCard suggests that parents could avoid headaches caused by the inevitable honks and squeaks by purchasing their child a tambourine instead!



A video featuring a local advertisement by Ray’s Midbell Music is funny not only because of the actors (they must have been store employees), but also because of the rap song they sing to encourage kids to play in the band.



Last but not least, Benny Goodman is featured in a Geico commercial. This vintage footage shows the legendary Goodman endorsing the insurance company with clarinet in hand.



Check out our YouTube Clarinet Commercials playlist for more.  The remaining commercials were chosen for their accompanying clarinet music, and the products advertised make us wonder about the associations the general public has with the clarinet. The videos include promotion of cat litter and anti-depressant drugs--as most of us clarinetists know, playing makes us happy and has natural mood-lifting abilities. One related commercial has nothing to do with the clarinet, but fits in the woodwind category. A Super Bowl commercial featuring NFL player Chester Pitts shows that one doesn’t always have to choose between music and athletics. This large linebacker also plays the oboe off the field--even in the locker room.

Rockinet, the Rocket Powered Clarinet

We all have days where we wish we could do this to our clarinets:




(Note: No clarinets were harmed in the making of this video!)

Dr. Norman Gary: Clarinetist, Bee Wrangler

As if the clarinet wasn't difficult enough already...



A retired professor of entomology at the University of California (Davis Campus), Dr. Norman Gary is also a professional "bee wrangler" who has appeared with his bees on television, including The Tonight Show, Scrubs, The Ghost Whisperer, and various commercials. He also holds a Guinness World Record for holding 109 bees inside his closed mouth for ten seconds! Amazingly, he can still play the clarinet, and plays regularly as a jazz and Dixieland clarinetist in the Sacramento area. Check out his personal website here.

Cosby Show - Vanessa Plays the Clarinet

One of the great things about YouTube is watching clips of vintage TV shows, such as this gem from the first season of the Cosby Show. In this clip, a chess game between Cliff and Theo is interrupted by Vanessa's horrible clarinet practice session. Cliff encourages Vanessa not to quit - at least, not until after her upcoming recital!

Craft Project

Plastic reed cases. Every clarinet player has them, uses them, and eventually faces the dilemma of what to do with them when we no longer need them. Most empty reed cases inevitably end up in the trash can or disappear into the dark crevices of our instrument cases. Not sure what to do with your old reed cases? Try collecting and saving the plastic cases for a rainy-day craft project. A comical step-by-step guide found at wikihow.com illustrates how to construct an igloo out of your old reed cases. This simple project provides a great creative outlet for any single-reed player wishing to find an alternative to discarding empty reed cases.

Carrot clarinet

If you haven't seen this one yet, well, it's about time. Australian instrument maker Linsey Pollak shows off his "carrot clarinet" in this video, with the help of some electronics. Perhaps more technically like a chalumeau, this instrument is made with a carrot, a sax mouthpiece, and a funnel. This isn't the only alternative clarinet Pollak has developed; check out LinseyPollak.com to listen to the watering can clarinet and the clarini, a narrow-bore clarinet made with aluminum, wood, bamboo, and glass.

The Green Clarinet

This video from the British sketch comedy show That Mitchell and Webb Look depicts a magical green clarinet which, when played, causes people to reveal embarassing truths about themselves. Caution: contains adult humor!